On Pakistan

A. Hypothetical Scenario...

Imagine... a large country, of disparate ethnic populations and a brutal history of Imperialism, war, and fluctuating borders. Parts of it are tribal areas, ruled by tribal laws and councils of elders, and feature separatist/ insurgent sentiments. Large chunks are in the grip of seemingly insurmountable poverty and beholden to grassroots radical movements, increasingly restive and violent.

The military strutting proudly before a domestic audience, has little hard power or "projection" capability on the world stage - except for control over a nuclear arsenal which, although only marginally useful strategically and tactically useless does earn it bragging rights.

The right-wing political class openly advocates a philosophy based on the majority religion, projects a jingoistic national identity that glosses over any historic failures, and nurses a grudge against a neighbor.

Religious nuts and a sensationalist media have taken command of the public square and and often operate behind the political scene, commanding policy-makers if not the policies themselves. Resource and market hungry corporate actors use and enable shadowy such power-players. The trivial and banal rules the burgeoning airwaves at the cost of serious issues - a situation all too convenient for the empowered class engaged in essentially strip-mining the country of its natural resources and filling their own pockets.

A rising middle class is oriented to the West and largely out of touch with the rural and poorer population; income inequality is at horrifying levels and rising. Corruption is rife, and the subject of much public debate. In large parts there is a flight of the affluent class to greener pastures (mostly America and Europe).

Located in a volatile region, this nations territorial disputes abound and two neighbours were (at least until recently) in a state of civil war, one is in the grip of poverty and natural disasters, another is a "failed state" according to Foreign Policy magazine, and yet another is ruled by an uncompromising military junta...

Do you see it? Do you see this sad country?

That's India, not Pakistan, as you may have guessed already - from a biased point of view.

Hold that thought.

On SMS-speak (or whatever the kids are calling it these days)

Seriously, people. It isn't "tat" or "dat". It's THAT. See also, dis, dere, n, whr, u, c, fr, tk, cr, AARGH. Does typing one extra alphabet really give you Carpal Tunnel? I can understand (not like mind you, but understand) people using SMS-speak on a cellphone with a T9 keyboard; but if/ when you have a full QWERTY at your disposal, why not use it?

Also someone explain to me the value in changing "My" to "Ma". I was talking about this the other day with a friend of mine and we both thought it senseless because it doesn't actually save any keystrokes. in fact, on a full QWERTY keyboard the m and the y are closer together than the m and the a. So unless you are a Chicago gangster asking his crack gang to "go back to ma crib n hang" you really shouldn't be invoking your dear old ma.

While on a and m... no, sweetykins, sentences DO NOT begin with a fucking Am. You can't say "Am going here" when you mean "I'm going here". Phonetic equivalence be damned. We aren't speaking Spanish where you can officially shorten "Yo verbo" to just "Verbo" and everyone knows what you're saying.

It isn't cool to use SMS-speak. Really. It's more like irritatingly idiotic. It indicates a lack of patience, polish, and an all round retardedness that is a major turn-off.

So, u no... tk ur fking crp ls-whr /rant

Next time on Grumpy Old Troll - making paragraphs out of your indecipherable blocks of text in an email...

Of Moments

I've stood upon a beach
At dawn
Felt sand at my feet
And marvelled
At the stars overhead, infinite

I've stood atop a forest
In the morn
Breathed in the wooden smells
And gaped
At life's myriad battles, unending

I've stood by a river
At noon
Toes buried in the loam
And stared
At ripples over the water, ephemeral

I've stood on busy streets
In the afternoon
With sweat on my brow
And wondered
At the bustling people, uncounted

I've stood by towers mighty
In the evening
Hands in empty pockets
And goggled
At ambition that blocks the sky, unchained

I've stood by my beloved, fast asleep,
In the middle of night
The world a mere whisper at my ear
And felt awed
By the promise of love, unconditional

I sit now and ponder
About the times I've seen
A smile on my lips, and a tear in my eye
And am overcome
By this heady mix, of moments...

Open Letter to Nat Geo, Discovery, and Ilk

O Mighty Custodians of Popular History and Science,

I'm tired of most of your programming.

I'm tired of programs that rehash the same history/ science and pretend to be new. I'm tired of Penguins, Nazis, King Tut, Polar Bears, Aliens, Tigers, Mythical Monsters, 2012, Nostradamus, Dinosaurs, Black Holes, Whales, and UFOs. If I had to put a number on it - looks like I'm tired of 80% of your content! (Pareto - it gets everywhere, what can I say!)

I hate how your programs feature silken-voiced narrators who pose rhetorical questions about the most banal things before a commercial break to build "suspense". For example: Narrator says "Could the team on the verge of proving Einstein wrong?... fade to Kellogs Corn Flakes commercial. Seriously? Dude, wasn't it obvious from the past 40 minutes of jabber that the old master WAS in fact wrong about some things? Your whole program was predicated on that. For all I care, the program TITLE was "Einstein's Greatest Mistakes".

Complexity

The world is complex.

This simple admission is too much for most to stomach.

“No!” they protest, “when you think about it, when you break it down to manageable pieces, within the context, it is not that complicated at all! Why...” and then they proceed to stop thinking, start believing, and disseminate said belief, in manageable pieces and within the context, of course. Except soon that context will be stripped off and said belief will become an unassailable truth, an axiom of civilization!

Consider a student, young and of nimble mind, toiling away at his lessons. He has been told by all quite often that his lessons will determine his life's direction, its quality, and content. He works away, devouring knowledge that everyone agrees is relevant and germane… and yet that knowledge is not the only determinant of his future, nor is it even the most important determinant. What is? How the fuck would I know? The world is complex!

Causality is a fact, undeniable, enshrined in the very nature of the universe we inhabit. That is not to say however, that it can be gleaned by any human. These waters are muddy, and those on the quest to uncover the bottom only succeed in kicking up more silt.

And yet there are those that take whatever glimmer they caught of some causal relationship and they peddle it as the truth. Within context, initially, until one day it becomes the whole truth,the truth of their existence, and of all existence,the prime mover, the cause at the beginning of all causes! Until one day it becomes a cause of its own, and then they come down the mountain and crush all dissent…

Their certainty, you see – their faith in the veracity of that glimmer – is the most dangerous thing in the world; not only when they are wrong, but also – and especially – when they are partly right. For then this certainty, bolstered with a smattering of evidence, and a throng of believers, makes them… zealots.