Seriously, people. It isn't "tat" or "dat". It's THAT. See also, dis, dere, n, whr, u, c, fr, tk, cr, AARGH. Does typing one extra alphabet really give you Carpal Tunnel? I can understand (not like mind you, but understand) people using SMS-speak on a cellphone with a T9 keyboard; but if/ when you have a full QWERTY at your disposal, why not use it?
Also someone explain to me the value in changing "My" to "Ma". I was talking about this the other day with a friend of mine and we both thought it senseless because it doesn't actually save any keystrokes. in fact, on a full QWERTY keyboard the m and the y are closer together than the m and the a. So unless you are a Chicago gangster asking his crack gang to "go back to ma crib n hang" you really shouldn't be invoking your dear old ma.
While on a and m... no, sweetykins, sentences DO NOT begin with a fucking Am. You can't say "Am going here" when you mean "I'm going here". Phonetic equivalence be damned. We aren't speaking Spanish where you can officially shorten "Yo verbo" to just "Verbo" and everyone knows what you're saying.
It isn't cool to use SMS-speak. Really. It's more like irritatingly idiotic. It indicates a lack of patience, polish, and an all round retardedness that is a major turn-off.
So, u no... tk ur fking crp ls-whr /rant
Next time on Grumpy Old Troll - making paragraphs out of your indecipherable blocks of text in an email...
Apr 7, 2011
Of Moments
I've stood upon a beach
At dawn
Felt sand at my feet
And marvelled
At the stars overhead, infinite
I've stood atop a forest
In the morn
Breathed in the wooden smells
And gaped
At life's myriad battles, unending
I've stood by a river
At noon
Toes buried in the loam
And stared
At ripples over the water, ephemeral
I've stood on busy streets
In the afternoon
With sweat on my brow
And wondered
At the bustling people, uncounted
I've stood by towers mighty
In the evening
Hands in empty pockets
And goggled
At ambition that blocks the sky, unchained
I've stood by my beloved, fast asleep,
In the middle of night
The world a mere whisper at my ear
And felt awed
By the promise of love, unconditional
I sit now and ponder
About the times I've seen
A smile on my lips, and a tear in my eye
And am overcome
By this heady mix, of moments...
At dawn
Felt sand at my feet
And marvelled
At the stars overhead, infinite
I've stood atop a forest
In the morn
Breathed in the wooden smells
And gaped
At life's myriad battles, unending
I've stood by a river
At noon
Toes buried in the loam
And stared
At ripples over the water, ephemeral
I've stood on busy streets
In the afternoon
With sweat on my brow
And wondered
At the bustling people, uncounted
I've stood by towers mighty
In the evening
Hands in empty pockets
And goggled
At ambition that blocks the sky, unchained
I've stood by my beloved, fast asleep,
In the middle of night
The world a mere whisper at my ear
And felt awed
By the promise of love, unconditional
I sit now and ponder
About the times I've seen
A smile on my lips, and a tear in my eye
And am overcome
By this heady mix, of moments...
Mar 30, 2011
Open Letter to Nat Geo, Discovery, and Ilk
O Mighty Custodians of Popular History and Science,
I'm tired of most of your programming.
I'm tired of programs that rehash the same history/ science and pretend to be new. I'm tired of Penguins, Nazis, King Tut, Polar Bears, Aliens, Tigers, Mythical Monsters, 2012, Nostradamus, Dinosaurs, Black Holes, Whales, and UFOs. If I had to put a number on it - looks like I'm tired of 80% of your content! (Pareto - it gets everywhere, what can I say!)
I hate how your programs feature silken-voiced narrators who pose rhetorical questions about the most banal things before a commercial break to build "suspense". For example: Narrator says "Could the team on the verge of proving Einstein wrong?... fade to Kellogs Corn Flakes commercial. Seriously? Dude, wasn't it obvious from the past 40 minutes of jabber that the old master WAS in fact wrong about some things? Your whole program was predicated on that. For all I care, the program TITLE was "Einstein's Greatest Mistakes".
Feb 1, 2011
Complexity
The world is complex.
This simple admission is too much for most to stomach.
“No!” they protest, “when you think about it, when you break it down to manageable pieces, within the context, it is not that complicated at all! Why...” and then they proceed to stop thinking, start believing, and disseminate said belief, in manageable pieces and within the context, of course. Except soon that context will be stripped off and said belief will become an unassailable truth, an axiom of civilization!
Consider a student, young and of nimble mind, toiling away at his lessons. He has been told by all quite often that his lessons will determine his life's direction, its quality, and content. He works away, devouring knowledge that everyone agrees is relevant and germane… and yet that knowledge is not the only determinant of his future, nor is it even the most important determinant. What is? How the fuck would I know? The world is complex!
Causality is a fact, undeniable, enshrined in the very nature of the universe we inhabit. That is not to say however, that it can be gleaned by any human. These waters are muddy, and those on the quest to uncover the bottom only succeed in kicking up more silt.
And yet there are those that take whatever glimmer they caught of some causal relationship and they peddle it as the truth. Within context, initially, until one day it becomes the whole truth,the truth of their existence, and of all existence,the prime mover, the cause at the beginning of all causes! Until one day it becomes a cause of its own, and then they come down the mountain and crush all dissent…
Their certainty, you see – their faith in the veracity of that glimmer – is the most dangerous thing in the world; not only when they are wrong, but also – and especially – when they are partly right. For then this certainty, bolstered with a smattering of evidence, and a throng of believers, makes them… zealots.
This simple admission is too much for most to stomach.
“No!” they protest, “when you think about it, when you break it down to manageable pieces, within the context, it is not that complicated at all! Why...” and then they proceed to stop thinking, start believing, and disseminate said belief, in manageable pieces and within the context, of course. Except soon that context will be stripped off and said belief will become an unassailable truth, an axiom of civilization!
Consider a student, young and of nimble mind, toiling away at his lessons. He has been told by all quite often that his lessons will determine his life's direction, its quality, and content. He works away, devouring knowledge that everyone agrees is relevant and germane… and yet that knowledge is not the only determinant of his future, nor is it even the most important determinant. What is? How the fuck would I know? The world is complex!
Causality is a fact, undeniable, enshrined in the very nature of the universe we inhabit. That is not to say however, that it can be gleaned by any human. These waters are muddy, and those on the quest to uncover the bottom only succeed in kicking up more silt.
And yet there are those that take whatever glimmer they caught of some causal relationship and they peddle it as the truth. Within context, initially, until one day it becomes the whole truth,the truth of their existence, and of all existence,the prime mover, the cause at the beginning of all causes! Until one day it becomes a cause of its own, and then they come down the mountain and crush all dissent…
Their certainty, you see – their faith in the veracity of that glimmer – is the most dangerous thing in the world; not only when they are wrong, but also – and especially – when they are partly right. For then this certainty, bolstered with a smattering of evidence, and a throng of believers, makes them… zealots.
Jul 21, 2010
The Great Malazan Re-Read
As many of the readers of this blog will know "The Malazan Book of the Fallen" is a ten part series, written by Steven Erikson (SE) that I first started reading in May 2005. It is (in my rather informed opinion, if you allow the hubris) one of, if not the best high fantasy - or for that matter SciFi and Fantasy (SF&F) - set of books/ series out there now.
When I first read it, my fantasy obsession was in full bloom, although it was not yet the lifestyle it is now. I proudly claimed to have "evolved" in my reading, starting from Tolkein/ Clarke/ Asimov to Robert Jordan to Stephen King to... and so on until I read Stephen Donaldson. (Aside: a retrospective from back then on the old blog: My Fantasy Bibiliospective).
I thought I had read everything there was to read.
When I first read it, my fantasy obsession was in full bloom, although it was not yet the lifestyle it is now. I proudly claimed to have "evolved" in my reading, starting from Tolkein/ Clarke/ Asimov to Robert Jordan to Stephen King to... and so on until I read Stephen Donaldson. (Aside: a retrospective from back then on the old blog: My Fantasy Bibiliospective).
I thought I had read everything there was to read.
As stupid statements go, that one was... really stupid, because with my discovery of"Gardens of the Moon", the opening volume of the series (from a hearty recommendation by Donaldson on his site), I was about to be blown away. Never before or since have I found anything that comes close in the genre for sheer scope of imagination, expert story-telling, or literary significance (yes, that old chestnut!).
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